BIHASANG BIHASA!

Cik. kalau aku kera cari kau sakali lagi. aku akan lahukanaya. supaya kau maal kau aku.

Hei kau cedena?

Tak apa. Apu dah biasa. Aku selala bergaduh masa kecil.

Kenapa kau tak lawan balik?

Sebab perempuan itu cantik sangat ke?

Kalau dia jenis yang kau suka pikaldah.

Dia bikannya jenis yang aku suka. Aku tak ada masa untuk perempuan dulu.

Dia memang cantik tagpi perangainya!

Tapi wajah dia laia dari yang lain.

Dia ada mata yang sangat cantik.

Kalau kau secantik tu. Kau mesti nampak duma ni sangat indah.

Kau memang sukada dia.

Bastian, aku tak pernah dengar kau cakap tentay perempuan macan ni.

Kau tak macam ni sewaktu kau keluar dengan Denise.

Bastian, mengaku sajalah. Dia memang jenis yang kau suka!


Eksena Dos

Tuan. Encik Sandoval batalkan mesyuarat esok. Dia nak tundan pada hari Isnin.

Eddie pula tinggalkan ni pada. Tuan lintuk Tuan pilih.

Oh ya. Tuan. Anugerah Usahawan Muda Terbalik malam ni.

------

Tuan ada seseorang di dalam.


Eksena Tres

Siapa?

Aphan Khabar Bastian?

Hai nenek.

Ayah dia memang taruk!

Dia tawarkan dirinak hatarkan kahu balik.

Dia ingat deh kerana dia ada kereta yang herbat tu. Saya akai teriana tawaran dia tu.

Eksena Cuatro

Tolonglah! Neutolo Sangat berang dia pukul lelakitu!

Ayah Apa yang ayah cakapkan ni.

Crush. Seseorang yang kau suka.

Ayah saya tahu apa makna crush tu.

Kenapa? Dia hodok ke?

Tak.

Tampa.

TO BE CONTINUED

NOBEL TEETH PRIZE

gosh'allah ay haven't dang nuttin' yet!

butt truly ayem humbold!

H1N1 SCARE

wakererry H1N1 tok Canada buksallef Oct. 19.

federal health officials serum berkud igat-bra 5 million doses of swine flu vaccine chenez ek tong province.

ta dum sog ready bergof Oct. 26 - minis dua semen polpot sopot akorva.

nevelu H1N1 igat-bra 200, plempes ek tested tong wad semen.

kurruku Sante Canada dekdek vaccine bunghole dehased plentahib begew susbageng zatozay

Ontario Health Agency for Health Protection and Promotion .

!."koromot tong flu iga-bra 6-10 semen"

PADANG PADAMN

gibuan padang soreebang padamn ekbul lulubenggari. susmatra coastal indonesia kurrukkurruk jaiputra gissilla. ini bukan salah ayyahmah baik illa attarri attadu. wergeno susbengbang bukan makan toloy toloy ek daghan sallupah.

pepanggu gibuan kastik batik padang sumatera gebang roar ertkweyk massive 7.6 magnitude richer scale deadly.

apanu gober warning bukan 2 minutes. sobretaj 1 horab habhab tektek. akon 2004 ben 2006 urguy riboribos maltos sang bandah-aceh.

KETSANA AUR KA ONDOY

nerengsablob anos 40 git-bra tektek bagyo sumpo tropik nutnobin hai aguy sampa lob habhab en kustorva pot Filipins. tumlo habhab luksaw gabra narong Greater Manila aur Luzon kon lawayy-ayy putiktik. git-bra percent 80 dem kartal habhab tektek kon lewnisky buhang balay aur bus.

pekpek pinoys lumpo en babaw tubong Domingo, wayywayy tum army helicopters sugipsip along tong safety. bongbong sari heyr hemp along bengbeng habhab en tektek.

power aur tektek supply lampyas kon pusadong. kising Filipins pertung sahib kon habhab, Sabados tektek bagyo approched menses git-bra sumsum tektek en horas 6.

Ketsana nebed aur Ka Ondoy subad Katrina.

KAPALMUKS

Cheat Iranian President Tahmoud Ahmadinejad is scheduled to speak before UN General Assembly, Wednesday. Some delegates from Germany and Canada are already planning to walk out if the unpoopoolar prez ever continues to deny that holocaust ever happened.
He's vehement on Iran's nuclear ambition and the eradication of Israel. But he's most definitely going to talk about the growing concern and plight of the Palestinians.

LITTLE DOOGIE HOWSER

Neil Patrick Harris hosted Primetime Emmy Awards with this opening number, Put Down The Remote, that brought the house down. And he's Little Doogie Howser no more!

DUROGISTA?

Ex-Rt.Honorable MP of Edmonton-Strathcona, Rahim Jaffer, got caught driving under the influence, DUI and possession of illegal substance last week. I think his chance for re-instatement for any election is now clearly bleak. Much clearer than the moon of Ramadan that ended last night. What's the connection? Well...it's just because he is a devout...

And anyway, he looks sorta snorting in this picture, donchu agree?

MAISON DES HOMBRES

Just what in heaven's name these guys are doing in my neighborhood? Jou happen to know what are they thinking? Jeez! I got no pricking clue. Hey hombres, why wont you go back to your own maison?

BUILDING DEMOLISION?

This Memorial for the World Trade Center Twin Towers is a sight to behold at New York City skyline. Today's anniversary still begs the question, was it's collapse part of terrorist act or controlled demolition?

ANG BAHAY KU

1.

sa durungawan

nitong tinutuluyan

masid ang lahat.

2.

mistulang tanod

ng panahong sumibol

sa kasaysayan.

3.

dito natunghan

irog kong minamahal

nang masilayan.

OUT THERE BY DA BOONDOCKS

Hum shalah trala-la-la-lah
Tum saleem ladlad bin ladin
Mum kapoor hajj om bading
Bhai lickin' gay chew, shwing.

BARIBARI MAKAN

surely i mentioned somewhere that i'm having internet withdrawal, i wanna puke. i cunt focus on the monitor as my sight is really failing me. boohoo. i even adjusted the font sizes sending my whole programs running in uber yards. i swear i was reading beyond the parameters of this notebook petite up to the border edge of India. you may call me a blubber, and i wont care. i just wanted to fix this baribari makan that my health be restored. i don't want to be like this boy who sheds buckets of blood. tum phenomenal hai.

http://ow.ly/o6Pu

MY ALIEN WATCHER GRAZED HERE

i always like to believe that the unknown visitors of this blog are actually from outer space and not from this planet earth. they are really spooky. and not knowing what they are capable of doing to me and my sanity. talk about being praning. they should know by now that i'm not going to disclose anymore stuffs that would endanger my fellow species and they wont find here and engage me in rather lenghty expositions that toobey honest bores me, most especially those who talks with both sides of their lips. i've learned my lessons these past few days when i taunted cattles from my kins' farm after picking cranberries, choke cherries, and other wild plums. got bruised trying to run away from these buffons. and yes it was my birthday, also the day when MJ, i suspect was already being put to pasteur err rest.

LARAWAN NG INA NG DEMOKRASYA

habang sa Washington...
si Gloria nag-rah-rah-ra't chika
kay kapwa nunal Obama,
hinggil sa Demokrasya(?)

sa Pilipinas samantala...(Aug. 1)
ganap na 3:18 ng umaga
si Gng. Corazon Aquino, nama-alam,
huling pugto ng hininga...

magiting niyang hinamok
ang kirot ng tadhana
nagdadalamhati ngayon ang mundo
sa natatanging Ina ng Demokrasya!

BALAY TI APO

Look Death
Youth Ni Inam
Bah Gas Ti You Kim

Lastog ken dagmel
Bakbaketan ketdin
Ngem naglanggong pay

Laklakayan ken bakbaketan
Angem sapay kasla
Awan ti sursuro yo

Alwadan tay ngiwat yo, kabsat
Ta kababain met nga agpayso
Innak agtocar lattan

Ukelele Yo Amen!!!

SA DAMPA NG AKING KURO-KURO

Ang biglaang pagyao ni Michael Jackson. Ang kinikilalang The King Of Pop ay malaking kawalan sa buong mundo. Hindi ko lubos maisip ang kasawing sa ngayon nararamdaman ng kanyang mga naulilang pamilya at mga mahal sa buhay. Isama pati na rin ang buong industriya ng sining, musika, radyo, telebisyon, pelikula, tanghalan, atbp. At sa loob halos kalahating dantaon ay nagdulot siya ng ibayong aliw at kagila-gilalas na husay sa pag-awit, pagsayaw at paglikha ng musika. Patunay diyan ang di mabilang na parangal na nakamit na niya. Sa kabila ng kamangha-mangha at kataka-takang transpormasyon ng kanyang mukha; at sa mga alegasyong di-umano'y pang-aabuso niya sa mga batang kanyang tinangkilik; siya'y mananatiling palaisipan at enigma. Di ko man lubos na ikinasasakit ng loob ang kanyang pagpanaw ay naniniwala akong ito na mismo ang malaon niya nang inaasam-asam. Na maging ganap na alamat o legend sa katangi-tanging kasaysayan ng daigdig ng kabuluhan at kabalbalan. Michael J. Jackson, Mabuhay Ka!

DAS HAVSE DER JACK BILT

R.I.P. Michael Jackson

August 29, 1958 -

June 25, 2009

BACK INTO THE DOGHOUSE

Now that you mention it, I'll never howl again. Woof! Believe you me when...I'd say...I'd say? Hmm aint it sounds like Dianne Warren's lyrics. It got stuck in my mind. Yeah that Charice's very own Note to God. It had been buzzing in me head like a prayer, hello Madonna. When the choir sings...never call me names...Bruce, Boxer, Boy-Mac! Down. Here! Now! Three large dogs were running around this poop park of Edmonton, along the Saskatchewan River and seemed to be enjoying their brief runabouts after wading thru the murky water while their master was whistling them back to his parked rusty-colored truck. It sure was a sunny day. And most animal or dog lovers alike were energetic enough with their (pardondapun) purposeful poop parades or strides. Almost every known canine: labradors, mutts, chihuahuas, pit bulls, puppys, whelps, bitches, terriers, poodles, shepherd's dogs and what have you were sort of in-synch to one objective alone. And that is to spray their urines, defecate and poop. Perhaps marking their territories or just plainly leaving their scents behind for other like animals to sniff by. Not to mention their seemingly painful squatting shat in and out the bush of this long stretch of urbane park. Left behind sure make em poop as landscape fertilizer. Some dogs were mastering the ball-catch with their salivating mouth and tounge. While some were excitedly jumping on others, greedily sniffing up one's behind. Stay away! You rabid Kuch! This is a gathering of sort. Nobody would dare bark anymore that dogs have no social skills whatsoever. One heavy set walker commented as we passed each other by, Aahh...you have no dog, you can have mine; Poochie! I politely gave my half-hearted smile and deep inside, I envy them...dogs, I thought I lost my social skills. Wandering aimlessly by. Hung head low to the ground. Not exactly walking but alternately putting forward two tired feet in front of the other. Clutched pebbles inside my religious pants. My temporary kennel...err...shelter was another twenty-nine minutes behind.

MGA KABULBULAN ATBP.

I recently got flaks from decent bloggers on our barrio community for spraying pubescent remarks. The word pubes in Tagalog was censored by our kapitana and barang-gay tanod, language police. Apparently, some of them were not too happy about me saying the hair word, that bristles protruding from one's private parts. This is just mane err plain hispidilous. I mean, ridiculous! I understand where they cumming from but why is it more acceptable in english rather in our own vernacular, wayward language. Back in the days when I still lived in Manila, I didnt have that sort of problems dribbling the b-ball word. I remember some international exchange students from Iran and the Middle East were much more care-free saying the word bulbol refering their burrheadedness, to which they probably meant balbon, shagginess. It's about time that we should crop our own idiosyncrasys lest we turn barbigerous. Do you wig that Wilson? Bleep-bleep!

GAY ICON IMAGE

This icon of Lord Jesus Christ is the gayest image I have ever seen adorning the central piece altar of St. Anthony Church at Whyte Avenue. I happened to visit and attend a mass yesterday for a very very long time in years to the proddings of my sistuh and brother-in-law. This boded well against my convictions. This church by the way, is one of the church in Edmonton that officiate mass in dead language, Latin. I was so beat that time that I could not concentrate on what the out-going priest was saying. I was actually dozing off the whole time and in between that a Pinay newcomer here in the city gave me mass liturgy to my embarassment, that you may follow, she said. I dutifully accepted her intrusion to my slumbering moment. Smiled and uttered inaudible, Gratzie mija...pukelamera. Just to my mind, not out-loud. The out-going priest meanwhile gave the homily in a boring but poignant fashion. Thirty-five minutes to be exact as he was reading them from a ready made speech from unknown authoritative author. It' s about venerations of images. And frankly, I couldn't care less. I was just mesmerized, like I said, by this gayest icon of JC with His ankle lenght robe, overflowing pinks garbs as if sashaying ready to pop-out before my very eyes. Nobody except you or maybe Him knew what I was thinking at that time. May I be forgiven!

MANNY PACQUIAO

For posterity, here's the poundforpound fighter: MANNY PACMAN PACQUIAO...

http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/1458770

EDMONTON'S BEST BHAIA

Do you wanna bhaia house aur lot?

When it comes to your real estate needs, I highly recommend Associate GURINDER S. KHOSA of Edmonton Best Buy Realty. He's honest and the one you can trust. Not because he's a friend, but a reliable and dependable bhaia, brother.

Tsike? Aprub-aprub!

You may reach and contact him with these numbers:

Office: 780-485-2100

Fax: 780-485-2180

Cell: 780-238-3638